The Upside of Anger

ANGER - A Strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong.

OK so I get angry. Lately all I have felt is anger. I get angry when I think about the young woman who has fought her whole life in order to succeed. I get angry when I think about the lack of respect for other human beings. I get angry when everything I have ever known to be strong and secure comes crashing down around me. I get angry the most when there is nothing I can do to help the ones I love ........ for me there is no greater pain then seeing someone else in pain. Right now I am angry !!!!!!

I will be the first one to admit that I get into a rut when I am angry, and it takes me a little while to get out of my "funk", however, over the years it has become easier by realizing and understanding the upside of anger. To understand my upside of anger you must understand two important principles #1 That which does not kill us can only makes us stronger and #2 nothing is certain except death and taxes.

I leave you now with one of my favorite quotes from the movie "The Upside of Anger" - anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. It can change you ... turn you ... mold you and shape you into something your not. Sometimes the only upside of anger then is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they're not afraid to take the journey, someone that knows that the truth is, at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in fits and spurts, and leaves behind a chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm.


Here's hoping that all of you can find your right side up when your upside down :)

The Heart of The Matter .......

I have missed the last two weeks of blogging and for that I do apologize. I have had a few things happen to me that have put my own thoughts and theories to a test. I can admit that my inner calm was jeopardized for a little while, but it all seems to be getting back to normal now and thats exactly where I need it to be. I went for a walk the other day and some things just came to me. This is what I like to refer to as The Heart of the Matter .......

The Heart of the Matter is that so often in life we are busy. We always seem to be in a rush and more time then not we do not stop to think about the things that make us truly happy. I was astounded by my findings when I actually took a step back and thought about the things that make me happy.

- a genuine conversation
- a warm embrace
- laughter
- a phone message from a friend saying they were thinking of me
- the sound of a friends voice 3000 miles away
- the smell of leaves that have fallen to the ground
- a smile
- the way a hand touches mine ......

It was the small things that mattered the most to me and made me happy, but for so long I was looking at a bigger picture and always in a rush never taking the time to notice the little things that in retrospect mean so very much to me. These things are not material, don't cost a thing and occur on a daily basis, except I was always too busy to notice. So I leave you with this blog and encourage you get down to the heart of the matter and figure out what it is that makes you happy. I can almost guarantee it will be the small things that matter to you the most ..... just don't be too busy to notice them .............

The Sound of Silence ......

I have had many people question me over the years in regards to working in a Casino and putting up with all the noise. How do you put up with all the noise from those slot machines they say. Well my answer is simple. I, like many, have gotten use to the fact that I work in an environment with a steady stream of noise. I hardly hear the slot machines anymore because I have learned to tone them out. Not only do I apply this at work with the slot machines, but also with all the other noise I may encounter during my day ....... including the noise made by other people.

I have often thought that people who talk are the equivalent of a slot machine. You can't stop people from talking and creating noise, but you sure can learn to tone them out. This is how I got through some of the most challenging times in my life. I just toned them out the same way I do the slot machines and it worked. You can't change other people, however, you can learn to adapt to all that noise. It's unfortunate really that we live in a society that creates so much noise but all we can do is look within ourselves and try our best not to contribute to the ruckus.

I love the sound of silence, but there are a few things I know for sure. You can't quiet a City, you can't quiet a slot machine and you can't stop people from creating noise that hurts others , however you CAN choose to tone it all out ...........

Feels Like Home to Me......

There is only one thing worse then dissing someones favorite sports team and that is dissing their hometown. I will admit I am guilty of this but I have learned over the last few years that when you dis a city or town you may also be inadvertently insulting someone and sometimes that just hurts.

I grew up 10 Minutes outside of Orillia in a small Village called Oro Station. (insert village idiot joke here) My family's roots are between Orillia and Oro Station. I remember spending most of my childhood between these two places. I remember when the East Side Mario's on the corner of Hwy 12 and Memorial use to be a Ponderosa. I remember when the Tim Horton's and the office building beside it on Colbourne use to be a drive-in A&W, complete with servers on roller skates and trays that sat on your window. I remember when everything beyond Country Produce was just a field. Speaking of Country Produce, that cemetery across the road from it ..... that's where my grandparents are buried.

I know Orillia has some downfalls, but when you think about it, doesn't every other City have downfalls as well? Everyone seems to know what Orillia's downfalls are but do they really stop to think of all the benefits of living here? Let me point a few out to you. Orillia is located by 3 bodies of water. It is the home of 3 Provincial Parks and Gordon Lightfoot .... Gordie Rocks!!! Two of my all time favorite places are located here, Theo's and Mariposa Market. Last but not least, how could you not like a place that is nicknamed "The Sunshine City" ?

I hope I have given you a little insight into my hometown of Orillia. People's roots are strong and they are very loyal to where they came from. Try to keep this in mind the next time you decide to talk negatively about a City or Town, because you never know where people are from, where their roots are or where there family is buried............

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly ......

Energy .... It's the one thing that is truly ours and nobody Else's. So why do we allow others to steal it?

About 8 years ago I started to learn about peoples energy. I love looking at people's energy. You can see it in the way we carry ourselves and you can see it in the way we interact with other people. I generally gravitate towards those with good energy, however I have on occasion been fooled. Just like everything else in life there is always the good and the bad and the ugly. The good and the bad are pretty self explanatory, however, over the years I have learned that there is another dark creature lurking amongst the human race. It is ugly and it comes in the form of a person who steals your energy.

Everyone knows at least one "energy stealer". You know the ones I mean ... they are the ones who after you have had a conversation with them, you feel drained, weak and low on energy. They just swooped right in and without you knowing it they have violated you and stolen the one thing that is truly yours.... YOUR ENERGY!!! I use to get really angry when an attempt was made at stealing my energy, however over the years I have learned how to appropriately balance these people so that they do not disturb my energy and thus me. It's all about the balance once again and this is how I found it in this situation.

I identified the people in my life who are "energy stealer's". If I had my way I would just avoid these people at all costs, but unfortunately life isn't that easy. I generally keep them at an arms length, but there are going to be times when you have to interact with these people. When I do this, I am always pleasant, however, I am very cautious and guarded about what I say. In a nutshell, I say what I have to say and get the fuck outta there before they have any opportunity whatsoever to steal my energy. This is a technique I have perfected over the years and I have some simple rules that I try to live by.

#1 When you interact with others, there should always be a healthy exchange of energy.

#2 Find a healthy balance between protecting yourself and interacting with "energy stealer's"

#3 I always try to remember this when I interact with everyone ..... this is my own personal rule that I try to live by and I find that it helps to keep me grounded and it helps me keep things in perspective. ALWAYS REMEMBER EVERYONE YOU ENCOUNTER IS : AFRAID OF SOMETHING, LOVES SOMETHING AND HAS LOST SOMETHING!!!

Have a great week everyone!!!

Beyond Borders .....

A couple of years ago I wrote about boundaries and what we have to do in order to protect or boundaries. After speaking with someone this week and thinking about it I decided to post the e-mail that I sent to all my friends in regards to boundaries. I hope you all are able to take something away from this.

Setting boundaries is something I have struggled with for years. Personally I had never really set boundaries for myself, but I now realize how important it truly is to have them. I think I could have saved myself some grief and heartbreak if I had something set up sooner, but better late then never. I now have a basic idea of my boundaries. In my life I look at my boundary as a large circle. In the centre of that circle is me surrounded by a heavy circle. The next circle within a circle is for family. After that circle comes the circle for very close family like friends. They are allowed to cross into the boundary where my family is to a point. After that circle comes the circle of acquaintances and almost every other person I come in contact with. They are not allowed into the close friend circle until they are known for a period of time and prove they can be trusted to move into the next boundary. I have structured my set of boundaries over a period of learning time. I have found that as I set my priorities with this circle of boundaries, I have experienced less confusion and crisis in my life. No one is allowed inside my centre circle as this is now my holy ground. The only exception to this is if someone chooses to share their life with me. They would then be allowed into the inner circle but would have to respect the circle. Now sometimes when a close friend is in a crisis, I have found that I tend to feel as if that boundary is being treaded upon. This is where I am at my learning stage. Everyone needs to learn balance. I believe that everyone needs special friends. To have one or more without compromising that centre boundary is the tough part. I need to protect my inner circle and I am able to do that with lots of practice and good communication.

I have lived by this for several years now and I believe that I have a solid set of boundaries, however, I have made an exceptions to my own rules. I have someone in my life who is always there for me, who always makes me feel good about myself and who loves me unconditionally. Many people go through life never experiencing what I have with this person, so I consider myself a very lucky. Because of this, this person is allowed to move freely within the circle .... even tread on my holy ground because I trust them with all my heart and I know they would never hurt me. So I leave this with you, but remember there is a big difference between setting boundaries and putting up walls .........

Opinions .... we all have one

Something happened to me the other day. I was talking to a good friend of mine, someone who I love, respect and admire and we had a difference of opinion on a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I will save the subject matter for another time and another blog. The whole point is we had a difference of opinion and it could have gotten ugly ... but it didn't. Why, because we decided to listen to each other and gain an expanded perspective. I then thought about our conversation and thought about that quote that says "With every encounter no matter how brief, we should take something away from it". Lets just say I took a whole lot away from that conversation and I don't think the other person even realized how profound our encounter really was. Then I remembered something I had read many years ago and everything just made sense .....

You don't have to agree in order to understand, but you do have to listen with an open mind. You do not have to give up or give into another in order to understand, but you do have to give your attention and consideration. You do not have to change your own position in order to understand the position of another, but you do have to accept that there are valid perspectives besides your own. Seeing things only from your own point of view puts you at a distinct disadvantage. The more open you are to understanding others, the more effective your actions will be.

People in today's society need to realize what an amazing gift it is that there are those that see things differently then you do. By offering understanding you gain the benefit of an expanded perspective. I have every intention of expanding my perspective .....

And so it begins ........

Welcome to thoughts from 99 Blackcomb Way. This is very exciting for me because I feel as though the older I get the more I have to share and the more things become clearer for me in this journey we like to call life. I have realized that it's not about how many friends you have or the material possesions you may own, but more about the search for inner peace within yourself ... thats what it is all about !! If you are able to find that, then nothing else really seems to matter. And so it begins .... my own personal journey of thoughts, opinions and the quest for inner peace. Hope you enjoy the ride.